Trump defies traditional science/fake news | Letters to the Editor

The White House has reported that the President has succeeded with an accomplishment that scientists long believed was impossible.

Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany stated at a recent press briefing that, once again, Trump has triumphed where no other U.S. President has in the past.

“Defying long held scientific beliefs and Fake News reports, the President has been able to put toothpaste back into a tube”, McEnany proudly exclaimed.

Since the invention of tubed toothpaste, it was long considered that once the paste was extruded, it could not be returned. Most people accepted that once the paste is out, you have to accept the consequences. You either salvage what you can, squeeze some more out, or get another tube.

McEnany underscored the president’s view that you don’t have to accept the old ways of dealing with a messy pile that doesn’t really represent what you wanted or needed at the time. You just defy the laws of gravity, physics, or some of Newton’s Laws, or deny that it ever came out in the first place.

When asked if she or the president could provide evidence of this accomplishment, she emphatically stated it was a stupid question.

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